April Fools is the worst holiday on the planet. Ever since I was was 14 years old and my dad convinced me he had bought me tickets to Comic Con, I have tried my best to sleep through April First. Usually, the jokes companies release for press are so cringy they make you contemplate deleting your social media. Every once in a while, the stunt is actually a brilliant idea that you regret will never be real. Hamburger Helper is different.
This year, the salt-content-so-high-it-might-literally-kill-you meals fly pretty low on the radar, but someone at Helper HQ decided to blow it all on making an EP. The five-track release is surprisingly well produced and effectively mimics the most popular sounds of today’s Southern Hip-Hop. Someone in the marketing department either listens to iLoveMakonnen and Migos not stop, or a 50-year old executive really did his research. The project really drops off in the last two songs, but the whole EP is worth listening to, if only to hear absolutely ridiculous bars like “We not accepting no crumbs bitch/ Hamberger Helper or none.” But, be warned: you might end up listening to “Crazy” more than you listen to Drink More Water 6.